Twins

I can't figure out why people think that I have twins. The other day I was in Home Depot to pick up a few thing. I had my two youngest daughters, Z who is 4 and H who is 2. I was making a dash for the lumber department passing by all the checkout lines. As I passed the last one, a female employee stopped us and asked if the girls could have a sticker. I said yes and she gave them each a sticker (I can't remember what it was). Then she made a comment that was reminiscent of when my two boys were little: "They are cute. Are they twins?" Are they twins? You've got to be kidding me. My wife and I had a running joke that whom ever commented that our two sons were twins, we would tell them they owed us $1 for the stupid comment.

Sometimes I can come up with a witty comment or two, but on this day, stunned by her stupid comment, all I could say is "no, they are two years apart," and pushed my daughters far away from her. I wish I had listened to comedian Bill Engval before I had this run-in with this blind employee. In a piece from one of his stand-ups, he said he was out with two of his kids and someone asked if they were twins. Being sarcastic as his usual, he said, "Why yes the are. My wife gave birth to one then was in labor for five years and pushed the other one out. Here's your sign."

I will try that comment next time someone asks me if my girls are twins, or, God forbid, my boys.