February 19, 2010

Friday
19:35

Well, today is almost over. As usual, I did not accomplish anything like I had planned to. I think that is probably the only thing that I am good at or ever was good at, planning on doing things, but never getting them done.

It always seems that when I start a task, my kids see that I am engaging in something, they signal each other and start fussing with other so that I have to intervene and can't finish my task. Right now is the exception to the rule. They are in the back room playing nice thankfully. But I am sure that will change soon. I know, I am not very optimistic. I don't know why my wife stays with me. I am pretty much useless.

I have taken on the task of learning, or increasing my knowledge of, HTML. I don't know why. It has evolved way past my knowledge. For some reason, I am clinging to the idea of designing web pages and sites for a living...at least part time from home. It is just a pipe dream. But I don't know really what else to do. I feel lost most days

I can't get the kids to behave, or to do their school work, clean up their rooms or anything else. Currently I am a poor excuse for a dad. I guess I think that if I can start earning money instead of sitting on my fat ass I will feel better about myself and my role in the family.