Not Again!

Well, yesterday, my wife went for her ultrasound and they said that the baby's fluid level was low and admitted her into the hospital again. She said that it was dangerously low enough for them to want to deliver the baby. She will have another ultrasound tomorrow and will find out more.

I have all these emotions and feelings churning inside. Everytime the phone rings at work, I fear the worst. When I was 19, I had a baby with my girlfriend at the time. When I left them for the night, she called me in the morning saying that they flew him to a different hospital and put him in the NICU. The doctor told us that he had a hart defect and that they would operate to fix the problem. The surgery went well, but his heart was just not strong enough to keep working, and he died two days after birth. I was so devestated by this that I let it destroy several years of my life. Now, with this pregnancy, these feelings are returning. Each ring of the phone could be devastating news. I can't imagine how my wife feels.

When my two sons and step daughter say that they miss Mommy, it really breaks my heart. I really miss her too and don't know when she will be coming home.