Pick your battles. That is what I heard from my family and read on the subject of parenting. Pick your battles. Well, I guess that I didn't pay attention or I am a little slow on the up-take. Because I seem to pick everything as a battle. Especially with my daughter.
Whether it is about doing her homework, cleaning her room, or most other things, we seem to argue about it. I don't think it is helping our relationship any. Lately, when I see she is upset about something and I ask her what is bothering her, she clams up and either turns away or just glares at me. She used to tell me, but I am afraid I have messed that up now. I am afraid that when she gets into highschool, she won't feel she can talk to me about what is going on in her life and come to me with problems...I know what goes on in in highschool, what kids talk about and do and are tempted with and I want her to feel like she can come to me with anything. (probably a fear of most parents?)
Maybe this summer, we can do more things together and talk to her more and not put my foot down so much.
Parenting is has been very difficult for me. How do others make it look so easy? Am I not smart enough?
These are the trials and tribulations of a regular guy who bacame his children's Dad.
2 comments:
It's never easy Dad. Sounds like she's in those early teen or pre-teen years. She will probably continue to fight for her own identity in her own way, but she will always be your girl and will always depend on you to be the good Dad, the one who is there for her, the one in her corner. Be the Dad on the block who goes the extra mile, the one who will drive her and her friends here and there. She will appreciate it someday -- perhaps a long time from now. :)
Pick your battles. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, "Do I want to die on this hill?" Set limits but be flexible. When mine was your age or perhaps a little older, she would call and tell me where she was and say, "There's a half hour left in the movie. Can I stay for another half hour." I would give in. She thought she was manipulating me, but the point is that I knew where she was, we had limits, and she knew that I cared, and that she needed to keep me informed. I didn't want to die on the hill of a half-hour extension; I peferred to die on the hill of her calling in and asking permision. I wanted to know where she was and that there were reasonable limits. What's a half hour in the grand scheme of things?
mr t says she will always resent you and never listen to a word you say, the best you can hope for is that she doesnt get into any hard drugs, just kidding it will be okay, don't fight it the more you fight the more she will withdraw just silently let her know that you are there and make yourself available, you are a great parent man.
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