Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!

After cleaning sweeping the kitchen, dining room and living room, and doing various other usual cleaning activities that a stay-at-home dad does while his kids are at school, I decided to take a little break and read some more on my Kindle. My cat was at the sliding glass door keeping watch over things in the back yard. When he is not sleeping, that is his usual station. He discovered shortly after moving here that a lizard, or lizards as the case may be, frequent our back porch. I guess he thinks that if he is patient long enough, he will be able to get one through the glass. During my break, I heard him scrape at the glass. I got up to see if I could catch this dangerous reptile in action. What I did find was an intruder, but not of the four legged kind. We were being invaded...by ants!

Being a cat, he is not equipped with the tools to combat against a really small adversary such as these six legged creatures. Maybe he didn't even notice them because he had his sights set on the juicy lizard. And since we have never been invaded by insects at this new house, I did not have any weapons at my disposal that someone would normally use against ants. I first swept them up, but once in a pile, they just ran off with surprising speed in all directions. Since I was wearing socks, I decided a more direct and final approach was necessary. I started stepping on them. Since it was a tile floor, it was a pretty easy. I made short work of about two dozen of the tiny intruders.

Feeling proud of myself for defending my castle, I bent down to pet the cat who was still keeping his vigil for the lizard. Then to my horror, I saw what seemed to be an endless army of them marching in a line coming from the track of the sliding glass door. I did not know what to do. I could not flatten all of them with my Hanes  socks. We didn't have any bug spray. I was at a loss of what to do. Then I got an idea taken from a similar situation years ago. At that time I had no bug spray either but used an orange scented all purpose cleaner that I had purchased as the dollar store. So I sprang into action and proceeded to the cabinet under the kitchen sink. In my haste I struggled against the child proof lock on the doors. After what seemed like minutes, I was finally able to open them and check their contents. Unfortunately, there was no spray bottle of orange scented all purpose cleaner.

There were various cleaners, and sprays, but nothing I could just spray on the floor. Then I spied a multi surface cleaner that contained vinegar. I grabbed my new found weapon and rushed to the weak points in our defenses where the intruders were streaming in. I proceeded to deploy the spray were necessary, stopping the six legged creatures in their tracks. After securing the inside of my castle, I moved to the outside, firing as I went. The intruders were everywhere and amassing for a counter attack. I dispatched all of them.

It took a few minutes, but my task was complete. The enemy was in full retreat. Then I remembered something I heard about keeping ants out of your house. A secret weapon. One so simple and cheap that it was ingenious and possibly devious. Table salt. Plain old table salt. I grabbed a container of good old Morton that my wife keeps around for baking purposes and made a defensive line in front of the door. Unfortunately I never got to see the long term results. Never got to see how strong a defense it was. About an hour after I set up this supposedly impenetrable barrier, it began raining, washing away all my efforts. As soon as this weather breaks, I will re-establish my secret weapon.

I won this battle, but I am sure, not the war.