February 10, 2010

Wednesday
22:35

Home. Boy, what a day today. It didn't get off to a good start, and it didn't end well. First, the boys fought more than usual during their lessons. I had to stop early before lunch because they needed a break and so did I. They needed some cream for a science experiment so I took them to the store to get some. Then I was going to stop by Circle K for some lottery tickets. Well, they fussed at the grocery store, then they got progressively worse after we left the store. By the time we got home, I pretty much had it.

One thing that has really bothers me is J's attitude. When he gets in trouble for doing something wrong or he doesn't do well on his school work, he bangs his head or pokes himself with his pencil. When he really gets in trouble, he runs away to his room saying that he wants to die or he wants to kill himself or that I don't care about him. I have now idea why he does these things and I have no idea what to do about them.

Tonight, he had a really hard time getting to sleep. They lost the chance for a movie. J has a hard time getting to sleep anyway, but without a movie, he acted like a broken person. He was crying and wanted to see the picture of him and my sister. He fell asleep, then got up, I believe sleepwalking. He was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't understand it. I managed to get him back in bed. He sat there and said that he hated himself because everything in the world was wrong with him. I felt so helpless. I wanted to help him, but did not know what to do.l