No Place to Play

I got mad at myself today when I took the kids outside to play. Mad that I haven't provided for my family better. On days that my wife works, my choices for play areas are in the dirt/rock in the back yard or on the concrete slab by the office. Living in this mobile home park, I don't have any other option. Since we don't have another vehicle, I can't take them anywhere.

I feel like I am not being a good Father because I can't give them more right now. When I was growing up, we had a big yard with grass and trees and stuff. I loved my childhood. I fear that when they get older they will won't remember their's very fondly.

One of my dreams is to move to somewhere on the coast of Maine in a smaller town than where we live now (5th largest city in the US). I want to have a yard with grass and trees for the kids. I have had this dream for the past 4 years, but can't seem to get anywhere towards it.

I feel that my kids are getting a raw deal because of my ineptitude at managing money and trouble getting a good job.