Note to Self

Yesterday, my wife did a double shift at the care center so she didn't get home until 11:30 pm. By then, the kids were in bed and, from their snoring, sleeping soundly. I was on my way to enjoying a potentially good dream when she came in the door. After working a double shift, she wasn't in the mood for chit chat and went straight to bed. I lingered downstairs for a bit longer before deciding I should get myself to bed also.

While making my way up the stairs in the silent darkness, I suddenly heard the dreaded chirp. You know that really annoying noise that smoke detectors make when they want you to change their batteries? Since it only beeps every minute or so, it took me a few minutes to find the offender, and of course it turned out to be in my girls bedroom which is directly across the hallway from my bedroom where my wife was now trying to sleep.

I was sure that the chirping noise was annoying her because it sure was annoying me. Of course I was also worried that it would wake up my daughters. So, I decided on a plan of action. First, I needed to find a nine volt battery. I don't know why they make things that use those. I seem to recall back in the 80s having some handheld games or other electronic devices that required one, but not since. Everything pretty much uses double 'A' batteries.

I searched in the drawers in the kitchen and the pantry and came up empty. Next, I tried raiding my kids' games and other electronic devices. Nothing. I decided to look in the kitchen because I have been known to overlook things sometimes. I opened one of the drawers for the second time and to my surprise, on top of all the other crap, staring back at me was a nine volt battery. It was one of those cheap ones, but still one that I hoped would satisfy the annoying smoke detector.

I drug a kitchen chair upstairs and carefully placed it underneath the offender, trying to avoid the myriad of papers, toys and clothes strewn about my daughters' floor. Now, to open this bad boy up and change batteries. Boom, done. So I thought.

Opening the battery tray on the side of the detector, I was unable to remove the battery while the device was connected to the ceiling. I disconnected it and with great effort, was able to swap batteries and sure enough, the incessant chirping continued. Thinking that I may have gotten the battery the wrong direction, I reached up to again remove the detector from the ceiling. Unfortunately, I accidentally pressed the test button. Apparently in our house all the smoke detectors are connected because all of them in the house went off at the same time, blasting their ear piercing alarm throughout all the bedrooms and other areas. This went on for what seemed like hours then went silent. I had almost fallen off the chair from trying to pound the buttons to get it to stop but was probably making it worse. 

I was stricken with fear and embarrassment. How could I have done that? Stupidity. But God showed some mercy. None of my kids or my wife woke up. How that was possible with the amount of decibels that were pouring out of the smoke detectors, I haven't the slightest idea except for divine intervention.

Still in fear of my family, I quickly removed the detector and carted it along with the chair back down stairs where I could properly put the battery in.

After reinserting the battery, the chirp continued. Giving up the fight for tonight seemed like my best option, so I put the evil smoke detector in the garage hoping that it would not be heard. 

By the time I climbed into bed, I was exhausted from my losing fight and faded off to sleep listening to the never-ending chirp coming from the garage. Tomorrow I would re-group and win the war with a new battery and having learned my lesson. 

Note to self: Do not change batteries in the smoke detector in the middle of the night.